we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
