I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
