Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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