im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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