Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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