so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
