You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
