Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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