for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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