the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize