So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
