it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize