the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think people are normalizing furries
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
