Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
