...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
