sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
