i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
