I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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