Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
