Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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