I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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