Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
