yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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