omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Someone signed my nipple.
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