There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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