I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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