you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Randomize
