lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
