I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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