he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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