can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
