Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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