IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
