all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
