Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
