Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
