I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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