My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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