If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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