I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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