I wish I could teleport
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
