dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
