what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We talked him into tasing himself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
