Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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