I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
