your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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