How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
