So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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