Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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