at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
