toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize