we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize