How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
