I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
