Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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