have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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