just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize