afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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