Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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