omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
