white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
