Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize