RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
