Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
