question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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