White coat. Heels.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
