I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
