You really coming over, don't trick.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
