We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
