She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
