I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
